Less than 48 Hours

On a sunday at Mrs Soh's house




Another picture at Yosemite

Isn't that great? We met up at yosemite and went trekking in Mrs Soh's house. First time i had to wear sunglasses in someone's house.

Well its a Tuesday evening and im sitting on my bed typing and making a list of things to add into my luggage. Hardly done anything, but i realise that the closer you are to leaving, the less you want to pack. Theres still so much more to do, but no time left. Guess its as what Wans says: "is it the pre-departure blues?"

Im not the first but hey.. Its my first right? So wish me luck and discipline. Discipline. Discipline. Thats all i really need i guess. Discipline.

Ok maybe write more later. So much to say but no time, no guts.

ill end with a trivia: whats in the foto below?


a. Jigsaw Factory
b. Cork pattern
c. Tree bark
d. Rock
e. Digital texture



Submit ur answers to my tagboard!

Mixed Feelings

I have so much to say but i always seem to be unable to pen my thoughts. Mixed feelings... I've never felt so lonely in a long time. Like I'm drowned by responsibility... Lost in a well of despair... In a fairy tale world... Called Gaming Addiction. Its not that i'm officially admitting that i'm addicted, but rather that I appear to be addicted because I spend quite alot of time on the computer. Because its a wonderful alternative where we get to hide away from the troubles and the unpleasant incidents and everything we hate about the real world. Not that theres much for me to hate, but its an escape habit. (i think i talked about this before)

Its like : PACKPACKPACKPACKPACKPACKPACKPACKPACKPACKPACKPACK
WHYHAVENTYOUPACKEDPACKPACKPACKDOTHISDOTHATDOTHISDOTHAT

Versus:
OWNING! MMMMMONSTER KILL! TRIPLE KILL! HOLY SHIT!!

Maybe I'm subconsciously afraid of responsibility. Afraid of being independent and responsible for my own life and actions. I wish i wasn't coddled so much as a baby. But thanks for the love Ah Mua you know I love you too. Sometimes I feel like its a colossal struggle between doing the things you want to do and doing the things you need to do. Life begins to have meaning when what you want to do is what you need to do. You get purpose. I started out with wispy dreams. Dreams that came and went like the wayward wind. Dreams that were mere mirages in the sand. Nothing so strong as to bestow upon me an insatiable appitite for success. For the goals that we aim for. I'm happy drifting along like a log. But the water is pushing me over the waterfall. And i wish i were floating in a pond. Still waters and peace for time immemorial. And maybe thats where i truly want to be. In the midst of everything, moving slowly like poetry in motion. In familiar surroundings and the warmth of home. Being able to enjoy all the moments that you want to have. Not just the feeling of impending change. Worrisome, tiresome, bothersome, idontwantsome. Immature, yes. Ridiculous, yes. Grow up boy, you're 21. For comments on this post, please leave in comments and not in tag thankz.




gee blogging is more depressing than i thought.

Its and Bits

Cant sleep so ill just write some unimportant stuff.

1. Apologies to all those i know whose blogs are not yet linked to mine. I'll work on that when i'm not so bothered with packing and stuff like that.

2. I love my dog. I woke up, got to the computer, and just as i was reading the tag about kim saying i have a cute dog, my dog trotted over to me and started licking my palm. I love my dog.

3. I think Singaporeans should be proud of what they've achieved over the past 40 years. Even if they've been alienated for whatever reason, or they don't feel that they are part of the nation... Ok ok i admit to having a secret patriotic streak that made me want to sign on.

4. I still like playing dota even though i dont get as much time to play it anymore. Too many pressing matters at hand.

5. I want an O2 XDA IIi.... I want... I want...

6. I found zhonglei's blog! hurrah!

7. I'm not excited about going overseas. Even though NYC is so happening. And i know my housemates comprise one Angmoh one Hispanic and one Indian. Like culture mash. If they ask me what Singaporean music sounds like.. Should i sing the national anthem? RJ school song? Steph Sun and Kit Chan?

8. Hey everybody school starts again. Life starts again. Even though we never wanted to let the holidays go... Thats how life is. People come, people go as time passes without a trace. I pray i don't leave this earth while attempting a triathlon on Sunday (well ok its just a baby triathlon but stil...)

9. In intellectual pursuit, I shall reflect discipline and passion for learning. And in personal conduct, I shall live in integrity, and regard groups, individuals and the community with kindness and respect, and in so doing, uphold the Rafflesian Principle of Honour.

10. Hey to all the people with Auras of Zhainess... Remember to share... Cos ppl like me need it haha... Thankz to all who've been a part of my futile attempts to own the Cambridge exams. Esp Lidome and 1D n Friends.

11. Darling, I love you.

Death of Blogging

I hate it when it always seems like i have no energy to blog when i have things to talk about, and nothing to talk about when i do have the energy. Sighz. Woke up with a neckache, possibly rheumatic, considering its been raining... Perfect weather for sleeping, but so unproductive.

Anyway i finished Harry Potter but i won't discuss this here, don't want to spoil the surprises for those who haven't read the book. Good read, esp the parts about BGRs. Well I've always been the ba gua sort right, so no surprises there. What surprises me is that I haven't attempted to read sweet valley high or something like that. Full of this kind of scandalouss relationships and stuff. Bestial Harry with Primal Urges. Growl. How exciting!

I've been looking at other posts of my contemporaries (I'm not so much their standard of genius, just happened to be my friends) talking about what life is gonna be like overseas.. Like Huangyu who's going next week but not done packing.. Like Kiats who ponders about the next step of our lives.. Like Houston who reminisces about JC days and marvels at how time has brought us to all corners of the world, connected by this untangible thread of life and love that they call friendship. I've been thinking too much.. Thus the PACKING PROBLEM still exists. Damn.

I went wakeboarding yesterday. Wonderful sport really, though you end up sia-suaying yourself when you try to act pro haha. Of course after finally being able to stand up (its not easy the first few times), I wanted to try new things like move over the wake.. Etc. Nothing fanciful, cos I was really noob la. Oh ya went with Yanni Connor and of course Huishan. Met Dennis Yeo the AC-HC guy who's going to Wharton. Brilliance. Basically had fun la.

Yesterday i read a friend's post about her grandparents, and halfway through, I couldn't hold back the tears. It just hit me like a tsunami (lol this is the IN phrase to use now) and the floodgates opened. Like a 7 year old child, I cried out not noisily, but the silent sobbing that would not stop. That feeling of loss and regret that just screamed at me: Are you going to wait till its too late? I have 3 grandparents, all above 80, and i fear that one day i'll receive a call from my mom or dad... And theres so much more to learn about their lives and their experiences. I've always felt that having seen the world for such a long time, through the Jap occupation and stuff, their stories about their past always had something special in it. Something that rankled within me and stayed close to my heart. I only wish i had embraced my grandparents more when i had a better command of cantonese. It has been degenerating slowly through the years after my great-grand aunt (who was my 'nanny') passed away... And i can only hope and pray that there i will meet a fair number of friends who can speak Cantonese.. So that armed with proficiency in cantonese, i will be able to seek the treasures buried in my grandparents' minds.

So after reading all this, why is my post titled death of blogging? Well just afraid that my blog is gonna die. I don't want my blog to.. Cos i know its gonna be a way for my friends to keep in touch with me.. Should this blog die, along with it will go a big part of me. Gotta have abit more discipline. Yes.

Gotta go. Will talk more in due time.
Kinfoong

Damn the standard of my english is horrible.