Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Nothing to talk about

Guys forget painful memories by compartmentalising. They deal with it by putting it aside on a shelf, almost never talking about it, then slowly let the dusts of time settle all over it, hoping that someday it will be obscured, forgotten, decomposed...

But they never really forget about it. It becomes a part of them, carried along the passage of time, deep in their bones. And they change forever, whether they realise it or not.


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JD says that heavy drinkers tend to prefer white wines to red wines. He has a couple of examples, and so do I. I do believe however, that its untrue--but have no examples to back me up. Anyone?


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Found on a classroom table in RI years ago: Sex is bad, sex is sin. Sins are forgiven, so sex is in.



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If I should come to have my own place one day (which I certainly hope I do), I would like to have a Scottish Fold cat and a Mini Schnauzer. No dog right now can really replace Fuzzy, whom I love lots, but once a Schnauzer owner, always a Schnauzer owner. I pay more attention to my dog than my mom. And that's not very good.


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I would rather die younger than live to a ripe old age fraught with disability, inconvenience, and the pain of restricted freedom and dignity. Perhaps that explains the way I live my life. Whether or not I still think like that 40 years down the road remains to be seen.


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Parents should never have to bury their children. That is how life should be. Grieving is done by the young for the old, who have to pass on. Having it the other way is just a tragedy, no matter how you see it.


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This seems to be a better collection of random thoughts than my '25 random things' entry on Facebook.


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Axe: You really know what burns my ass? A flame about this high.
SF: *ring* Hello? For the last time, I am a dreadlord, not a druglord!


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I have to sleep earlier.


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Looking forward to a KTV session with an old friend. We'll see what happens tomorrow.


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Ah Pek with no tattoos

Sunday, February 15, 2009

What's been on my mind?

So. I haven't decided what I want to blog about yet, but I decided it's about time to do so, since its 3:30am and I'm waiting for my hair to dry out. Just went out with Imran and Zhafri, and we had a very informative (for me at least) dinner over chicken rice at Prinsep St. The topic of conversation was Islam and religious beliefs in general, and I guess I inferred some secrets about life from these two wise men.

I've also had a lot of food for thought lately. I'm not sure I want to go into everything in detail, but I'll just give some updates about what's been up. And to make it less boring and wordy, I'll insert some random pictures to spruce up the plain pages of this blog.



It's true what I've previously said about mambo. Its about the music, but more importantly, it's the company. Last wednesday I went with my Sister and her bf to mambo, and though the music was good, let's just say i was a tad lonely. I'm not much of a dancer though I aspire to be a mambo King, and neither am I the most friendly/ballsy dude in town. So it was one of those self-reflection moments with dance music in the background. Or foreground, in this case. Not to say that they don't make for good company, but mambo is better attended in groups.

I've decided to take a step forward to deciding what I want. I've decided not to look for a job for the time being, but spend some time looking at the stock market instead. There's opportunities everywhere, and the stock market happens to be a good one at this point in time. So many good stocks are undervalued because of the poor global economic situation, so it's a good time for investors to step in. Warren Buffett was criticized for not participating in the 'tech stock rush' of 2000-2001. When that bubble burst, the genius promptly went in and swept up other stocks at discount prices. I can't say it's the best decision I've ever made, and neither is it the worst, but it's definitely a risky business for a fresh grad. Lets just hope I make something of this episode, and hopefully it will be a long long one.




I've also been reconnecting with some friends that I haven't communicated with for a while. And all that only serves to remind me why we were friends in the first place, and sometimes, really good friends at that too. If there's one thing I'm sure about what makes life meaningful to me, it's finding out who your friends are, and spending time together regardless of activity. As I've said many times (to those who chill with me), oftentimes it's not what you're doing, but who you're with that makes the difference. That also sums up why I see myself as a up-and-coming ah-pek. I figure one of the activities I enjoy most is sitting at a kopitiam over a couple of beers and maybe chicken wings or bakchormee and stingray, chatting with people that mean something to me.

I have been trying to get my fitness back. I just find it hard to cut down on food, so I'd better step up on the exercise. Played floorball with Imran and friends on Saturday, and now my whole body is aching. No regrets though, it was fun and I intend to make it a regular Saturday activity of mine. I ran a short distance last week, and I regret to say that it was the only time this month that I ran, despite declaring my intention to run a marathon in May. I know I probably won't be fit enough by then, but if there's a time to start exercising, now is probably a good time.



Valentine's has come and gone, and it's been my first one single since 2002. Hmm 7 years already eh, and despite my disdain for commercialized events, it felt somewhat different. Perhaps a little lonely, despite the fact that I met over 10 new faces, and 15 old ones that day. I guess there's a reason why we set aside a day to commemorate the joys of being with someone you love, who knows your heart, and who loves you too. Cynics may cry out, "Its a day where people who are single are pressured to make something happen with someone else, by spending loads on a bouquet, a stuffed toy, or an expensive dinner", and though perhaps I feel that I should be doing one of those said things, its not because I think its the right thing to be doing on such a day, but rather because its a day when I know I will be thinking about how lucky I am to have such a person in my life (not that I never think about it until V-day), and I would love to show my appreciation for the person.

It's also the first V-day since 2006 that I haven't spent with Soumi, Grace, Ian, and Cliff. Somehow or other even when I was attached, I did always have a V-day dinner with them (maybe a day late or something), and that's something I know I will miss in the future. Cliff's in Tokyo, Ian in New York, Soumi and Grace in Singapore. Not so easy to meet, eh. I miss those days.

I received 3 letters a couple of days before. Been a long time since I've got mail in Singapore, and I got 3 in a day! Wow! So I opened the first one. Sender: SDU. Ok. Second one, sender: SDU. Third one, sender: SDU. Ok ok, I get the hint... My dad, who was sitting next to me when I opened the mail, remarked that I could just ignore it, but he thought I was attached. Upon letting him know of my somewhat recent return to singlehood, he told me to go for it -__-''' Whether or not I go will thus depend on 2 factors: 1. My recently single friend goes (in which case I will, since if everyone at these events are really losers then at least I have someone to talk to), and 2. If I'm actually in the mood to get to know new people. If my journey into the stock market becomes a long term thing, then I suppose I really will have to find some way to get to know new people since I see myself being happily married with kids sometime in the future.



I also killed about 3,000 zombies playing Left 4 Dead with some friends yesterday. Exciting game, but the novelty wears off after awhile. If I were to really encounter such zombies in real life, I figure I'd be dead in less than 5 minutes in, unless I hide in a metal box or row a boat out to sea, where sharks or zombie fish would probably get me eventually, maybe in a week or two.

I got a new desk chair! *Happy*

I'm worried for my sister. Things are about to change over the next week, and I hope she will be able to handle the challenges that these new developments will bring.

I'm not so worried for my other sister. She's applying for grad school, and though the road is tough, she's capable, intelligent, and basically a good catch for any grad school, imo.



I'm worried for my grandma. She's been the topic of a couple of posts in the previous months, and though she doesn't seem to be getting healthier, at least nowadays she's more awake when I go spend time with her. Just that her being awake makes her grumpier, but I go because she's happy to see me. That thought alone is enough, even if not much conversation passes between us.

I need to pack up my room, possibly repaint it, and probably rearrange the furniture in it.

I love my dog, but I think she's a little miffed at me because nowadays I don't play with her as much. I still give her doggie massages though, and I know she likes them. I wish she could massage me back. Especially now when I'm aching from floorball. Ugh 4:30. Definitely time to sleep. Tomorrow will be an exciting day.

XOXO
Sg's #1 Ah-Pek wannabe