Mixed Feelings
I have so much to say but i always seem to be unable to pen my thoughts. Mixed feelings... I've never felt so lonely in a long time. Like I'm drowned by responsibility... Lost in a well of despair... In a fairy tale world... Called Gaming Addiction. Its not that i'm officially admitting that i'm addicted, but rather that I appear to be addicted because I spend quite alot of time on the computer. Because its a wonderful alternative where we get to hide away from the troubles and the unpleasant incidents and everything we hate about the real world. Not that theres much for me to hate, but its an escape habit. (i think i talked about this before)
Its like : PACKPACKPACKPACKPACKPACKPACKPACKPACKPACKPACKPACK
WHYHAVENTYOUPACKEDPACKPACKPACKDOTHISDOTHATDOTHISDOTHAT
Versus:
OWNING! MMMMMONSTER KILL! TRIPLE KILL! HOLY SHIT!!
Maybe I'm subconsciously afraid of responsibility. Afraid of being independent and responsible for my own life and actions. I wish i wasn't coddled so much as a baby. But thanks for the love Ah Mua you know I love you too. Sometimes I feel like its a colossal struggle between doing the things you want to do and doing the things you need to do. Life begins to have meaning when what you want to do is what you need to do. You get purpose. I started out with wispy dreams. Dreams that came and went like the wayward wind. Dreams that were mere mirages in the sand. Nothing so strong as to bestow upon me an insatiable appitite for success. For the goals that we aim for. I'm happy drifting along like a log. But the water is pushing me over the waterfall. And i wish i were floating in a pond. Still waters and peace for time immemorial. And maybe thats where i truly want to be. In the midst of everything, moving slowly like poetry in motion. In familiar surroundings and the warmth of home. Being able to enjoy all the moments that you want to have. Not just the feeling of impending change. Worrisome, tiresome, bothersome, idontwantsome. Immature, yes. Ridiculous, yes. Grow up boy, you're 21. For comments on this post, please leave in comments and not in tag thankz.
gee blogging is more depressing than i thought.
Its like : PACKPACKPACKPACKPACKPACKPACKPACKPACKPACKPACKPACK
WHYHAVENTYOUPACKEDPACKPACKPACKDOTHISDOTHATDOTHISDOTHAT
Versus:
OWNING! MMMMMONSTER KILL! TRIPLE KILL! HOLY SHIT!!
Maybe I'm subconsciously afraid of responsibility. Afraid of being independent and responsible for my own life and actions. I wish i wasn't coddled so much as a baby. But thanks for the love Ah Mua you know I love you too. Sometimes I feel like its a colossal struggle between doing the things you want to do and doing the things you need to do. Life begins to have meaning when what you want to do is what you need to do. You get purpose. I started out with wispy dreams. Dreams that came and went like the wayward wind. Dreams that were mere mirages in the sand. Nothing so strong as to bestow upon me an insatiable appitite for success. For the goals that we aim for. I'm happy drifting along like a log. But the water is pushing me over the waterfall. And i wish i were floating in a pond. Still waters and peace for time immemorial. And maybe thats where i truly want to be. In the midst of everything, moving slowly like poetry in motion. In familiar surroundings and the warmth of home. Being able to enjoy all the moments that you want to have. Not just the feeling of impending change. Worrisome, tiresome, bothersome, idontwantsome. Immature, yes. Ridiculous, yes. Grow up boy, you're 21. For comments on this post, please leave in comments and not in tag thankz.
gee blogging is more depressing than i thought.
posted by Kinfoong at 10:37 AM
3 Comments:
Kin..wats wrong with u?
u okie?
is it the leavin thats making u all so upset?
silly boy...
we all come to a stage where we haf to do wat we must do..its not often we get to do things we want..thats y when we do..we must cherish it..so if gaming helps..then go ahead..
im still here okie?
take care..
ling
its alright... no one said growing up was easy, but its not something that needs to be done overnight...
take your time... all the time in the world...
sometimes being twenty two and two isn't very much different... you're still coddled...
Eh this kinda thing hits everyone all the time la... Its just that i was feeling vulnerable at the time la.. Thankz ladies for ur concern, really appreciate that. Well just wonder when i'll get to see u guys again then... And thanks Ling cos ure always there i know =)
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