exams

Yes, exams on the 3rd, 4th, 5th for this week. i like it that econs seems easy for me. computing too (even though the A for computing is 95 marks) cos i've been doing good on that. Accounting though... That one is iffy diffy. Sigh.

Temporarily quitting gaming again of course. Except u can't quite really quit. So instead of dota now, i play chess. At least im pursuing some of my aims here. i do actually want to get back into good chess. like have more intellectual pursuits. i kinda miss loving puzzle solving and stuff like that. its just been writing, some philo, some su-do-ku for me. back to chess! and dota strat occasionally: you can't run from it forever....


anyway. i haven't been spending much time in my dorm studying cos its not a place i can focus. always too much happening in there, so i've been studying more elsewhere.

in other news: i think columbia campus is beautiful. and i hate nyu cos all the money disappears and we dont even have a proper campus unlike columbia. but to be fair, nyu has the better location. BUT STILL! A CAMPUS! Grr..

I feel like i dont have NYU pride. Esp cos hardly anyone here does (imo). The thing is that, its not like RJ or RI or AC when u can be damn proud cos of school spirit and stuff. I guess i've been a proud person, much more than i'd be willing to admit. I'm proud of being Rafflesian, Gep, from ODAC, ACPS, (and also of my family and friends for who they are and what they've done but i digress) but not of NYU. And just perhaps its something that i cannot reconcile: that NYU isn't all that americans believe it to be. Sure, it may be a good school, but when the Faculty and Students hate the Administration, it says something. Probably also the only college with NO American Football team. Sigh, and sigh indeed. So much for school spirit, i'd have a better time watching NBA on tv (and mind you, i enjoy watching live RI/RJ rugby matches over EPL soccer).

ok back to studying. bish

Things to do in the summer

I thought this up just before class started.

1. Get lean, fit
2. Swim or cycle or run everyday (guess it contributes to 1)
3. Get some sort of a job: internship or job understudy
4. Rethink amway
5. Brush up on Calculus (what for, i don't really know)
6. Read "The Purpose Driven Life"
7. Learn to focus: Do some self-studying
8. Accounting
9. Trading
10. Meet friends
11. Brush up on cantonese, talk to the grandparents
12. NOT DotA everyday

Well i guess there's tons more to do, and perhaps more dreams to pursue. I'd like to take short trips around, learn to surf, things like that. But then again, i'm trying to remain true to my list that i wrote just awhile ago.

In other news:

I've moved on faster than i think i have. I guess i've done alot of growing, and in many ways too. I guess what i do need to learn (time and again) is how to plan for your own future. Perhaps i've been reckless of late, jumping into commitments (like chess or SSA or NYSA) but i do think that there is something to be learned from it. I guess its always been things like these, my side commitments in school that have shaped me so much, and kept me going normal. I just gotta plan them well so that i don't waste too much time on them.

I've learnt to be very much more accepting than i used to be (at least i think so). Perhaps its a growing up thing. Like... After awhile u learn that some things aren't worth holding on to... Certain values, habits, anger and other negative emotions... cos they dont make your life any better. Guess ConWest has been one of those life changing courses. Granted, i haven't given that course my best shot, neither have i read nietzsche from cover to cover, but i've learnt enough to make a positive difference to my life. Its time all of us reassessed what makes us who we are: the values we stand by, the things we want, our purpose. Or at least try to rediscover why you believe what you believe in.

i think i've gone slightly off track. But i've really got some issues i gotta think about. perhaps, in the next entry. but till then, thanks for bearing with this 1 week hiatus.

ok. this is like the first time besides peru that i didn't blog for a whole week. impossible. i'll write something later. just been tired and caught up with rubbish indeed.

Springs in my knees and blossoms in my soul

Yes, yes, pardon the typically unconventional title that sounds a tad corny but really isnt. Pardon me again.

I had the most wonderful feeling today while walking to The Door to give my last tuition for the semester (due to impending exams, horror of horrors), and as i passed Washington Square Park (that's the "park" that constitutes the NYU campus), i saw the flowers and the blossoms and the birds and the squirrels and the green green grass and the superbright sun, and then i thought about the past 2 weeks of my life: Good results in academic terms, good times in social terms, good news from those i need to hear from, good life in total.

And then i started to cry.

Beautyworld! (Cha Cha Cha)

Well it was some trip to Chicago this weekend. The shit was that i'd lent Heep the camera to take some pictures of his Bio thingies in class, and i forgot to get it back from him, so i didn't bring the camera to Chicago. Which means theres no fotos for this entry =(. Reached the airport at night.

Stayed at Helena's place, this friend i'd never met before, yet we knew each other pretty well.. Such is the power of DotA in connecting people. Slept on her couch for just one night, for the second night was the afterparty, and i had a 645am flight. Her roomie Stella makes good baked pasta. I was grateful for the two helpings i received, as i hadn't had dinner or a good lunch.

Went for dim sum brunch in Chicago at this place they call Yum Cha, with Helena, Annie (another of her housemates), Michael (Lai the RI gep), and Alex (remember RI PB twins Alex and Amos). Had to wait quite awhile, but it was nice having pei dan zhok (pork and century egg porridge), chee cheong fun (zhu chang fen in chinese) and fung zhao (chicken feet) amongst other dimsummy things.

Went back to Helena's place, got ready to go out and meet Kiats. Fell asleep while talking though, so woke late and met Kiats late downtown. Downtown Chicago is prettier than New York (even though i maintain times sq is the heart of cities...) Its cleaner, wider streets, prettier sidewalks, and flowers all around! How Springy and nice! We played chess by the road (i do have a foto here but i gotta wait for kiats to send me) which was just awesome. Then it was rush rush to Uchicago Campus for Beautyworld!

Met lots of Singaporeans there, it was rather amazing seeing a totally Singaporean crowd of hundreds and only a few angmohs instead. It was pretty nice having the tables turned. Turns out i knew alot of the people involved in the production.

Calvin Lin (props)
Kenneth Goh (sound)
Thong Kai (keyboard)
Jason Teo (Chorus/dancer)

and last but not least
Lippy Lee as Ah Hock!
Good la, Lip Jin. Salut!


So. The afterparty was pretty good for getting to know ppl, and a good unwinding session for all thats going on in NY... Tension building up to exams and all. Just 3+ weeks and i'll be home. How fast time flies.

So this post was belated.. but thats pretty much all i gotta say.. till the next post!

I love Estelle very much.

Report Strength

Ok ok i know i haven't talked too much about studying here cos its boring for u guys to read and stuff... But i think its a necessary evil. Of my 4 subs this term, i have the least problem with Econ, then computing, then conwest, then accounting. Conwest is irritating cos i like reading Plato but not doing essays on it. I'd rather not read and not do, than read and do. So since i can't not do, sometimes it ends up i don't read and do. Which still works out somehow. Accounting is tricky. The last time i studied for it, i spent too much time on the textbook, and missed out on the big questions. This time i practiced alot, and missed out on the mcqs by 18 marks. Ouchness x 18. And it's still an average grade. Guess i got more of my mom's programming genes than my dad's accountant ones.

A friend told me some time ago: "Love is like a monster. Once you wake it up and feed it, its never gonna stop being hungry." Or something like that.

I think: love is what you make of it, simply because you cannot refute definitions of it that don't quite seem to encompass everything, yet you don't feel it describes it perfectly. Its kinda hard to define it when theres so many types of it, and oftentimes they work in harmony and become indistinguishable. Then how?

I gotta learn to love studying. I already love my homework.

creepy deadlines.

Blossoms as promised (stolen from Qiuwei, thanks)

Sigh i hate discovering that i misread a deadline. Especially the night before its due, and it's already past 12. Good thing i checked though, but im kinda tired cos i stayed up last night. Midterm today was ok, but i gotta start prepping for finals. I just hate how i don't start early enough everytime to cater for my ineptitude to sit still at my desk.

Grr. So much for an accounting article review...

foto track

I realised i haven't done fotos for awhile.


simple reunion dinner.


valentines outside chicago grill.






With Pius, Thomas and Changge at Imperial, the only place besides Macs we could find cheap food


Sitting there as we did for 3 days


Sun + beach + beer = shiok


my hair after straightening with a ceramic iron.


Watched rent with Morris Chim and Estelle

Thats quite all for now. no cherry blossom photos. imma poach some maybe.

Of stars and stuffed toys

Its been a long time since i gave stuffed toys and stars such thought. The things that follow us through our childhood, like our bedside guardians as we battled through our fears of the dark and the monsters in our closets. As we grow, we outgrow such things that our childhoods are made of. Stuffed bears, cute kittens, stars that bore the brands "GOOD", "VERY GOOD", and "EXCELLENT" that made the centrepiece of every test paper, all contributed to this sense of security, that somehow it was a reciprocal relationship: Caring for your bedside pals as they watched you sleep and comforted you after waking from nightmares, and the stars that told you that you were worth so much, just as they were worth so much to you.

And just when u realise you think you've lost them, they sneak back into your life like musk from a scented candle, its sweet fragrance slowly permeating the room as a lit candle brings warmth, and a mystical sense of energy that fires bring that altogether reinvigorate the soul from the pangs of hunger that arrives with age and maturity; what it brings is more than the satisfaction that food delivers to an empty stomach, and more than the reassurance that the moon's still in the night sky: Just a fuzzy warm feeling, sweet and fragrant, like the bursting of a new blossom in the song of spring, evermore the new beginning that we always wanted from what we always had.

I found a little star MOGU.

concern

im ok guys and gals.

The circle of life renews itself, and the buds of springtime blossoms sprout into a choral bloom of pink and white, a symphony of joy and love in lilac and cream, of everything that means something.

Yes. Spring is wonderous, with good weather and the shimmering shiny sunny sun that's started shooting shots of sweet sunlight.

Swell.

A Calling?

Hmm. Last night i dreamt that i signed on cos i was done with school. I became a cdo recruit once again, suffering under SSG Steven Choo. Underlying stress from the Republic it seems, since according to Plato we should be specialising in order to benefit society. Perhaps fitness is the best i can do? Gosh i'd die running a 2.4 right now.

back to plato and his stupid republic. which is damn important by the way

Defective

Yes i understand i'm born defective -- no one's perfect.
Yet i wish i could learn just a little faster
The secrets to life's lessons.
The answers to grandeur and the nectar of life.

I forget social conventions
Why should we bother?
must be this class on plato

Is there anything worth looking forward to
anything at all
when u cant hold your manners
when you trip and fall

Mind your P's and Q's

The perpetual pursuit of perfection is pathetically painful for the pupil of past and present position. It is a perilous punishment put in perspective, provoking pained pleas for peaceful play, for passion to promote pleasure and performance over passive procedural persecution. Physical prowess of portrayed peoples prove the pervasive point of the purposeful pursuit of perfection that persists in any populated paradise.

Pwah. PengSan. Damn plucking stressful i tell you.

back on the road

hurrah the accounting midterm wasnt as hard as expected! well or at least the ALEKS online assignment things helped alot. the day before (id procrastinated the weekend before again) the midterm i i was starting to panic at lunch time. i knew i couldnt afford to screw this midterm up too.

seems like studying at my own desk is one of the least conducive places to study. so i went to starbucks on morris' suggestion. realised i couldnt really just read textbook for acct studying. decided i needed solutions to textbook problems (in my computer) and immediate feedback. so i started on aleks


Voila! aleks is good for me! i hope to get an a-. its hard though, im not an acct genius.

well seems like im back on the road again.

i played soccer today upon invite by neil, but i was horrible (as i always am) and totally unfit. puked the last part of me lunch out discreetly, but u see how unfit i am.

enjoyed self. then played chess. unjoyed self too. made me remember how much of a chessnut me was.

ganvatte all//////////////////////////////////////////////////////

note that the / has been truncated due to website viewing problems. however, thats what happened when i fell asleep on the key