I'm looking for apartments in nyc for next year at the moment. stressful, because of housing arrangements.
anyways,
about the last post i wrote on the third of apr, i guess that's an admission of a possible political mission... but then again i don't have the balls to say whats right in front of the people who decide what's righter.
on another note, the third of apr happens to be my commissioning day. which means that since my commissioning on the 030404, i've been an officer (sort of) for 3 years, thank's to kok koon's reminder. i'm not sure what that implies or what it signifies, but it sure made me remember the good ol days. maybe not as good as i hope to remember it to be, but still good times, as are most ns experiences. and its funny how the toughest times really don't last, and tough men do. but besides that, those experiences are sometimes the sweetest. i remember how my buddy jianwen taught me about what it means to be a good buddy. he was always sticking to me, with me, beside me. and though we hardly communicate nowadays i'm still glad i had him as a buddy, i learnt things that will be hard to forget. eg. if you're only 56kg and your buddy is 78kg and you have to fireman's lift him, SUCKS TO BE YOU!
lol
also, i read about the google prank, where they were "providing free broadband": TISP, or toilet internet service provider, where you flush this cable down your loo, and someone down there plugs it in some fibreoptic gizmo. yeah right. also for april fools pranks, someone posted a bag of 3 poops selling for one million dollars online. but i digress.
it snowed lightly over the past few days, which brings to mind that song april snow. it's kinda rare, but somewhat pleasant. lets just say after the cold winter, a 0 deg celsius day is still pretty nice, provided the winds aren't chilly. then again, summer beckons and i know i will miss the dry feeling, of not having sweat run down every fold of my clothes. hey hey singapore, i don't quite miss you anymore. oh i'm such a serial liar. singapore is home man. i guess its hard to comprehend why, but roots are roots and they have grown, despite my disdain for the lack of "philosophic and oratoric freedom" in our country, and other things that i would feel embarassed about when described as a characteristic of our green city. its all part of the package. and i dare say we have quite a bargain on our hands, kudos to the PAP. what happens from here remains to be seen. such a rambling paragraph. i should take out my punctuation again for the heck of it. and no, i will not read anymore Woolf. it's damaged my brain enough.
recently got this photo from joanna. good times, good times. its funny how each and everyone one of us from lidome have grown, apart and together, like dunes in a desert. the winds of time may shape and shift us, mould us into something different, but ultimately we remain composed entirely of sand.
what else have i wanted to say? oh yes. its hard nowadays to find something that you can carry with you in your heart, an undying passion that will guide you to your life's purpose. or at least for the immediate future. strangely enough, i oft find myself extremely detached from my surroundings, my situation, my self. sometimes i don't see the cause and effect of the things i do, the things i want to do, and the things i have yet to do. this unbearable detachment from my deepest reserve of human emotions, this cradle of passionate experiences, is hurting my sanity. sometimes i forget who i am, who i should be, and who i want to be. in fact, too often i forget these things.
i wander'd lonely as a cloud,
away from new york, oh so loud
the drums the clangs the screeches the city
but nary a soul should offer pity
as a person needs not what others can offer
but to find his own, to be it's lover
a person a time a thing a place
a sad sad story or sweet embrace
don't let me say i think i'm glad
for i am just but truly mad
pathetic.
