Sian

That's a foto taken of me outside Elmer Bobst Library in NYC. Huge library but i haven't been inside yet. Had to post it so that i could link it into my blogger profile. Stupid siah, this kinda thing i also dunno how to do. Anyway....

So i finished my 28 pages of Spanish lab and 4 pages of Spanish workbook assigned on monday, and studied for the test today. Quite evil if u ask me. But the test was ok. And now i've got an essay to do before i go to bed. I hate writing class. Its 2 times a week and one essay as homework after every lesson. I think i'm losing steam... Disappointed with my own results. Even though the teacher always writes "good" at the end of the piece. I keep feeling that my standard is not good enough. Like compared to all the zai zai essays in the GP bulletin and model essays and stuff. My shit is nowhere.

Just feeling kinda out of sorts now. Even though everything is great and life couldn't be much more exciting at the moment, I just feel this feeling of dread creeping over me. Like i don't want to do anything anymore. Not dota, not smash brothers, not chat, not anything. I thot maybe i could blog it out of my chest but its not quite working. Its like that same feeling I get every September. Maybe school related, but everytime the end of the year draws near my mood tends to become very subdued and measured. Not quite the silly old me. I dare say that the first month here has been great cos i found the old happy silly me for awhile... (Thankz dudes in NY) and that was good.

Maybe i could attribute this horrible mood to the topic of my essays. We were supposed to find a picture to talk about. So i chose "the Scream" by Edvard Munch. First we had to write a descriptive essay. Then we had to create some connection between ourselves and the picture. And then in another way. And then link some text to the ideas in the last few essays. And now im supposed to write a letter to a sympathetic friend and tell him/her what im planning to do and how im feeling. And then i will have to piece everything together for a prizewinning essay! Doesn't help my mood much, considering thats more writing done than GP in sch, and that upon investigating the scream and related topics, i started delving into death, depression and terror, helplessness etc. And that's not the healthiest thing to be talking about for weeks. But i must say Dickinson and Plath got my respect.

Soz

I was ready to watch Goodfellas with my homies using me laptop. We bought a S-video cable so we could plug it into the tv instead of having to watch from my 15-inch screen. And guess what. For some reason or other my cd drive has become corrupted. Something wrong with the driver it says. And the problem is that its a plug and play driver. Which means the drivers for that arent on the internet. So how am i gonna fix that shit? looks like essay tonight and repair shop tomorrow. I gotta check out my warranty status too. So much for Goodfellas.

I cooked pasta today. Folks said it was quite nice so was feeling pleased. But after that just didn't feel right and so... My day's gone downhill from then.

Ok checking to see if Bren won. It's past 12 now. He's gone to check it out. I feel bad. I'm supposed to be his campaign commando but somehow i can't feel our paths crossing in the right way. I haven't done much at all and for that i feel shitty. Esp knowing i might have made the difference (if he doesn't win). Then again i hope he does win. Then he won't be sleepin so early all the time. Oh 2 nights ago i slept before he did (for the first time ever).

So i'm still generally feeling out of sorts. So i visit the love actually website, and just peep around. Too few pictures of Keira Knightley i must say, but then it just brought me back into the movie and all the situations. I took the quiz and guess what? I was "A HOPELESS ROMANTIC". Exactly what i thought i was back in sec2. 7 long years have passed and yet some things don't change.

Oh its kinda late. Time to force myself to work. To infinity and beyond!
And keira is such a babe.

And i wish i could walk the beach every day.

Sadly,
mine.