What we need
This morning, i woke up 1 hour before class. Enough time to prepare.
Then, i woke up 1 hour after class started. Not enough time to do anything.
Then, i woke up after 14 good hours of slumber.
I've spent the day doing practically nothing, which was a good feeling in a way. Full recovery of my neck, cricked while snowboarding. Dotaed 2 games with a top frag SA, took the stress away. Had a Vietnamese dinner, and confirmed my vacation this spring break to the Bahamas. On impulse really, but not a bad deal. Flight + 4 nights lodging = $400. So looks like i've got something to look forward to again.
On retrospect however, i realised that i lamented this flood of "free time" which really wasn't free. I had some time on my hands, where i didn't want to dota, blog, smash, cook, read, sleep. I really didn't want to do anything at all. Maybe chat with people online, but everyone's like cramming for tests and stuff. I have work to catch up on, but psychologically i still have the whole week to catch up (less now that i'm going on a trip i guess).
And then i realise that as much as we lament time, its pretty useless unless you've got passion. And that's something that's been missing from my life for awhile. I haven't been passionate about much stuff except catching up with good friends, yet i'm reluctant to call. So whets up then? Not much.
I was passionate about chess a few weeks ago, but had no time cos it was in the midst of midterms. I was passionate about snowboarding last month, but grew out of it after the second time when i cricked my neck. I was passionate about dota, blogging and related computorial activities, until... I just kinda didn't. I would like to be passionate about grades and studies but that's not me and will probably never happen.
I need passion for the things i do. I need passion for food, that gives everything i eat the flavour it possesses, that makes food so worth living for. I used to live to eat, until i realised that now i'm just eating to live. Even chocolate and icecream aren't sustaining my passion for feeding myself.
I need passion for exercise, that will get my muscles working and blood pumping. That will force me to enroll myself in the next marathon. I mean, if Kenny Sia can complete it, so can I. Except that i'm not going to take 6:33. Will aim for 5 hours. That is until i find the passion to begin.
I need passion for dota, even. For all you ppl who know me well, you know dota has been an integral part of my life since 2004. I've been known to play from 10am to 6am, not even stopping for a bath or food: i eat and play, toilet in between games.
I need passion for studies, for that result i want to aim for. When i don't aim for a grade, but just to "do well", i find my grades the kind you find at the bottom of a well. Corny, but unfortunately true. A B isn't quite enough for a Singaporean studying at NYU.
I need passion to be zhai. In anything. I had passion for army, i came out OK. I had passion for chess in RI, came out vice capt. I had passion for CS, even can win 2nd prize in a tournament.
Perhaps more than being zhai, i need passion to live. And it's been missing for awhile, so dear readers:
If you find my passion somewhere, please email me so i can come get it from you. Thanks lots.
And now for some photos
Look who's EXTRA! Harharharhar.
Us outside UNO on Valentine's after dinner
I like taking webcam shots. And looking like a pseudobeng while doing so. This is one of my depressing shots.. Got artistic value?
Strangely, i look strange here. Rather unique pose, this one.
Em and I in the NY Metro. I miss chatting long long with her.
When Selina visited some time ago.
Stupid Kiats. To think i dreamed of him last night, and he asked me if i wanted to teach with him at AJC. Then i said i'd prefer TJC. And he said no.
Yes, at death valley. It really is beautiful if you like desert colour.
And i just realised i look kinda different in all these pictures. Hmmm so narcissistic. But then its my blog so... This is my life, and its ending one minute at a time.
Then, i woke up 1 hour after class started. Not enough time to do anything.
Then, i woke up after 14 good hours of slumber.
I've spent the day doing practically nothing, which was a good feeling in a way. Full recovery of my neck, cricked while snowboarding. Dotaed 2 games with a top frag SA, took the stress away. Had a Vietnamese dinner, and confirmed my vacation this spring break to the Bahamas. On impulse really, but not a bad deal. Flight + 4 nights lodging = $400. So looks like i've got something to look forward to again.
On retrospect however, i realised that i lamented this flood of "free time" which really wasn't free. I had some time on my hands, where i didn't want to dota, blog, smash, cook, read, sleep. I really didn't want to do anything at all. Maybe chat with people online, but everyone's like cramming for tests and stuff. I have work to catch up on, but psychologically i still have the whole week to catch up (less now that i'm going on a trip i guess).
And then i realise that as much as we lament time, its pretty useless unless you've got passion. And that's something that's been missing from my life for awhile. I haven't been passionate about much stuff except catching up with good friends, yet i'm reluctant to call. So whets up then? Not much.
I was passionate about chess a few weeks ago, but had no time cos it was in the midst of midterms. I was passionate about snowboarding last month, but grew out of it after the second time when i cricked my neck. I was passionate about dota, blogging and related computorial activities, until... I just kinda didn't. I would like to be passionate about grades and studies but that's not me and will probably never happen.
I need passion for the things i do. I need passion for food, that gives everything i eat the flavour it possesses, that makes food so worth living for. I used to live to eat, until i realised that now i'm just eating to live. Even chocolate and icecream aren't sustaining my passion for feeding myself.
I need passion for exercise, that will get my muscles working and blood pumping. That will force me to enroll myself in the next marathon. I mean, if Kenny Sia can complete it, so can I. Except that i'm not going to take 6:33. Will aim for 5 hours. That is until i find the passion to begin.
I need passion for dota, even. For all you ppl who know me well, you know dota has been an integral part of my life since 2004. I've been known to play from 10am to 6am, not even stopping for a bath or food: i eat and play, toilet in between games.
I need passion for studies, for that result i want to aim for. When i don't aim for a grade, but just to "do well", i find my grades the kind you find at the bottom of a well. Corny, but unfortunately true. A B isn't quite enough for a Singaporean studying at NYU.
I need passion to be zhai. In anything. I had passion for army, i came out OK. I had passion for chess in RI, came out vice capt. I had passion for CS, even can win 2nd prize in a tournament.
Perhaps more than being zhai, i need passion to live. And it's been missing for awhile, so dear readers:
If you find my passion somewhere, please email me so i can come get it from you. Thanks lots.
And now for some photos
Look who's EXTRA! Harharharhar.
Us outside UNO on Valentine's after dinner
I like taking webcam shots. And looking like a pseudobeng while doing so. This is one of my depressing shots.. Got artistic value?
Strangely, i look strange here. Rather unique pose, this one.
Em and I in the NY Metro. I miss chatting long long with her.
When Selina visited some time ago.
Stupid Kiats. To think i dreamed of him last night, and he asked me if i wanted to teach with him at AJC. Then i said i'd prefer TJC. And he said no.
Yes, at death valley. It really is beautiful if you like desert colour.
And i just realised i look kinda different in all these pictures. Hmmm so narcissistic. But then its my blog so... This is my life, and its ending one minute at a time.
posted by Kinfoong at 12:17 AM
6 Comments:
hahaha! I like the strange photo of you holding the army cap!
Very spontaneous!
I am very happy to see you wearing my Cal t-shirt! Yay! It's unisex by the way. Let see you wear the dimsum shirt too heehee.
Funnily you have chosen to say that your life is ending a minute at a time. You might as well say your life is extending a minute at a time. Sounds like the glass half-empty/full thing. You are being pessimistic.
About passion and studies. Study something you are passionate about crum. That's what I've done. If you are not passionate about the act of studying, study a subject that involves projects, papers, fieldwork relatively more than stuyding from books. Or think about what career you might be interetsed in, so even if you're not crazy about the studying, you can think about the studying as a means to the end that you want - your dream career. Motivation comes more easily when you're doing something you want to do because you like it, or because it is a stepping stone to something you like.
Goals are very important crum. You may need to sit down and type them out. Concrete goals. Specific goals. WRite down 10 "I want to..." goals. Then every time you make a decision you have to refer back to those goals. Goals are especially important when you don't like the task itself, but know that the task can get you something you like. You need to think of the goal to motivate yourself.
OK I have talked enough. I demand an answer to this one.
Yes, yes, strange fotos.
Leafymutt>>
That line comes from fight club. Just thought it appropriate to say that i'd better start finding my passions soon because if i don't life's slipping away. I know about the goals thing, had personal experience. Just need to look for one.
take a humanities course :D
haoxiang, ??
"You cannot control the length of you life, but you can control its width and depth. You cannot control the other person's opportunities but you can grasp your own. My Dear Son, "Life is beautiful" Muazy.
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