Of Philosophy, Change and Such
Well i realise its been some time since i last posted (once again) but if i had posted as often as i thought i should, then i wouldn't have that much time left to study. I've got a midterm tomorrow morning, but then if i don't pen these thoughts down, i will probably spend the next few hours resisting the urge to blog.
So i've pretty much started sleeping alot, in lieu of Dota which i have decided to temporarily suspend till the holidays come, and it seems that now i have two sleeping sessions per day: a 4 hour session after classes (after which i will wake up in time for dinner, just on mon wed and thu) and then another 4-7 hours at night. I guess this isn't quite the best arrangement, seeing that i still take alot of time to get started on the things i have to do, or the things i should be doing. At least, the extra sleep is keeping me more alert in class, but then 5 hours before accounting at 930am is just tough la. Having more sleep's better than having more Dota i guess, at least for now.
I pretty much wish i had more of my Dad's accounting brain, cos I understand the lectures but i can't internalise the information. And that's something that pisses me off cos its just so different from the subjects we used to study. Not that its a bad thing the subjects are different, but then its irritating having to adjust to a different way of doing things.
Doing things in different ways isn't quite as easy as it seemed. I remember when it was soo easy to adjust to different things and understand different methods of getting around to the same idea. Like there could be 3 different strategies to stripping the 84mm, and i could do each one pretty well too. It kinda hit home that i seemingly lost that ability 1.5 months ago, when trying to study for my Accounting Midterm, that i had totally lost my ability to adapt to the kind of studying i needed to internalise Accounting. There i was, making my own notes so i could fully internalise the concepts, understand the intricacies, explain the differences, and you must agree that this is a very GCE kind of way to study. I was expecting questions like "explain the differences between the historical cost model and the GPL model of accounting". But when it came down to answering the homework practice questions, it was more like raw math than anything else. It was about "How do you do this?" and "how should you fill in that?" rather than the "come on you ex-British subjects lets write some essays and show them Americans what English is about". Of course we know textbook questions are like that (recall Emath and Amath textbooks with problems behind each new thing you learn), but wouldn't the exams be more challenging? Something more about theory?
I was so wrong.
The exams were just like that. "this is the situation, show me a balance sheet, and an income statement. If this was like this, then show me that".
I wasted most of my time understanding concepts and definitions, i definitely didn't have enough practice with the problems themselves. With Physics, it was a case of as long as you know F = Gm1m2/r^2 or V =I R (or V = R I as Chan Lei Ping would have it), then the Physics problems were easier than saying the alphabet backwards (it is interesting to note that saying the abc is far easier than anything else, and saying it backwards is rather challenging for the unaccustomed).
So how? I proceeded to get myself a pathetic grade, pretty much the same way i screwed up my Stats final last year. Tsk tsk, it happened last year, why are you shooting yourself in the foot again? Stupid masochist. Never learn ah, never learn... Walk some more, walk slowly ah... KNOCK IT DOWN!
Nehneh.
Then after that horrendous episode of self-stressing about that acct midterm (which was one of the lowest points of me life really, coupled with other problems), i wrote 15 lines of things i discovered (which i rediscovered today during lecture):
Lessons I've Learnt Again and Again
1. Worrying does nothing.
2. Stressing does nothing if excessive.
3. ________ is temporal and should be avoided.
4. ________ is temporal and should be avoided.
5. ________ keeps you awake.
6. Study for exams a week before (at least), not a day before.
7. Get proper meals and sleep around test-times.
8. Coffee works.
9. Green tea's not as good as coffee.
10. Quit thinking and start trying.
11. Most people have it worse off than me.
12. I can do it if i believe i can.
13. I have many friends who care for me.
14. Some friends care more than others.
15. I need a "____ __ __ ____"
Note: Blanks included to protect self from unnecessary scrutiny, those who know me well should know what they are"
SO.
Looking back i remember and almost feel that horrible sense of panic, the desire to just screw the whole matter because i couldn't make the effort to make the difference. I'm so not going to let that happen to me, and the only way is to change my habits, make new ones, and make it me.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
I was chatting online sometime ago, and i mentioned that old adage, that the only thing that doesn't change is change itself. And its true. Its gonna happen whether or not you like it, whenever its gonna hurt you the most, may come without warning, and just overwhelm you. So change before you get changed. And maybe u can change the change for a change.
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
That's one of the things about the army. I remember only too well the dark blue words etched into the barrack walls:
We saw that wall everyday, not just because it was where we lived, but when we got "knocked down", we had to look up while doing our pushups, and naturally we'd see that wall, and proceed to brainwash ourselves that this punishment was the excuse for us to build a better body, become fitter, look more buff, and basically come to a point where nothing was too hard at all. Just take it positively and move on. We positively did alot of brainwashing.
But one thing that made that quote stand out from the others, like "the only easy day was yesterday" and "tough times don't last, tough men do", was that this was the only philosophic one. It was the only one that taught you the secret to happiness, in any situation at all. The rest didn't say that you had to have a positive outlook, just that you had to prepare yourself for more suffering at the hands of sadistic psychobitches.
I dare say my life's changed alot in the past year, in all too many ways. I'm growing everyday, shaped by my circumstances, experiences, and the wise words from wise men along the way. I've relearnt the meaning of forgiveness (see previous entries), internalised Batman's "its not who i am, but what you do that defines me", come to terms with change (once again, methods of dealing with this constantly change), exercised more discipline, and am still practicing the things that make me me. I've got plans to include an aura of zhainess in my self-morphing process, and i'm looking back to see what needs change.
Socrates (in Plato's words) said that the unexamined life was not worth living. I think mine's just begun.
So i've pretty much started sleeping alot, in lieu of Dota which i have decided to temporarily suspend till the holidays come, and it seems that now i have two sleeping sessions per day: a 4 hour session after classes (after which i will wake up in time for dinner, just on mon wed and thu) and then another 4-7 hours at night. I guess this isn't quite the best arrangement, seeing that i still take alot of time to get started on the things i have to do, or the things i should be doing. At least, the extra sleep is keeping me more alert in class, but then 5 hours before accounting at 930am is just tough la. Having more sleep's better than having more Dota i guess, at least for now.
I pretty much wish i had more of my Dad's accounting brain, cos I understand the lectures but i can't internalise the information. And that's something that pisses me off cos its just so different from the subjects we used to study. Not that its a bad thing the subjects are different, but then its irritating having to adjust to a different way of doing things.
Doing things in different ways isn't quite as easy as it seemed. I remember when it was soo easy to adjust to different things and understand different methods of getting around to the same idea. Like there could be 3 different strategies to stripping the 84mm, and i could do each one pretty well too. It kinda hit home that i seemingly lost that ability 1.5 months ago, when trying to study for my Accounting Midterm, that i had totally lost my ability to adapt to the kind of studying i needed to internalise Accounting. There i was, making my own notes so i could fully internalise the concepts, understand the intricacies, explain the differences, and you must agree that this is a very GCE kind of way to study. I was expecting questions like "explain the differences between the historical cost model and the GPL model of accounting". But when it came down to answering the homework practice questions, it was more like raw math than anything else. It was about "How do you do this?" and "how should you fill in that?" rather than the "come on you ex-British subjects lets write some essays and show them Americans what English is about". Of course we know textbook questions are like that (recall Emath and Amath textbooks with problems behind each new thing you learn), but wouldn't the exams be more challenging? Something more about theory?
I was so wrong.
The exams were just like that. "this is the situation, show me a balance sheet, and an income statement. If this was like this, then show me that".
I wasted most of my time understanding concepts and definitions, i definitely didn't have enough practice with the problems themselves. With Physics, it was a case of as long as you know F = Gm1m2/r^2 or V =I R (or V = R I as Chan Lei Ping would have it), then the Physics problems were easier than saying the alphabet backwards (it is interesting to note that saying the abc is far easier than anything else, and saying it backwards is rather challenging for the unaccustomed).
So how? I proceeded to get myself a pathetic grade, pretty much the same way i screwed up my Stats final last year. Tsk tsk, it happened last year, why are you shooting yourself in the foot again? Stupid masochist. Never learn ah, never learn... Walk some more, walk slowly ah... KNOCK IT DOWN!
Nehneh.
Then after that horrendous episode of self-stressing about that acct midterm (which was one of the lowest points of me life really, coupled with other problems), i wrote 15 lines of things i discovered (which i rediscovered today during lecture):
Lessons I've Learnt Again and Again
1. Worrying does nothing.
2. Stressing does nothing if excessive.
3. ________ is temporal and should be avoided.
4. ________ is temporal and should be avoided.
5. ________ keeps you awake.
6. Study for exams a week before (at least), not a day before.
7. Get proper meals and sleep around test-times.
8. Coffee works.
9. Green tea's not as good as coffee.
10. Quit thinking and start trying.
11. Most people have it worse off than me.
12. I can do it if i believe i can.
13. I have many friends who care for me.
14. Some friends care more than others.
15. I need a "____ __ __ ____"
Note: Blanks included to protect self from unnecessary scrutiny, those who know me well should know what they are"
SO.
Looking back i remember and almost feel that horrible sense of panic, the desire to just screw the whole matter because i couldn't make the effort to make the difference. I'm so not going to let that happen to me, and the only way is to change my habits, make new ones, and make it me.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
I was chatting online sometime ago, and i mentioned that old adage, that the only thing that doesn't change is change itself. And its true. Its gonna happen whether or not you like it, whenever its gonna hurt you the most, may come without warning, and just overwhelm you. So change before you get changed. And maybe u can change the change for a change.
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
That's one of the things about the army. I remember only too well the dark blue words etched into the barrack walls:
"Like it or don't like it, take it positively and move on."
We saw that wall everyday, not just because it was where we lived, but when we got "knocked down", we had to look up while doing our pushups, and naturally we'd see that wall, and proceed to brainwash ourselves that this punishment was the excuse for us to build a better body, become fitter, look more buff, and basically come to a point where nothing was too hard at all. Just take it positively and move on. We positively did alot of brainwashing.
But one thing that made that quote stand out from the others, like "the only easy day was yesterday" and "tough times don't last, tough men do", was that this was the only philosophic one. It was the only one that taught you the secret to happiness, in any situation at all. The rest didn't say that you had to have a positive outlook, just that you had to prepare yourself for more suffering at the hands of sadistic psychobitches.
I dare say my life's changed alot in the past year, in all too many ways. I'm growing everyday, shaped by my circumstances, experiences, and the wise words from wise men along the way. I've relearnt the meaning of forgiveness (see previous entries), internalised Batman's "its not who i am, but what you do that defines me", come to terms with change (once again, methods of dealing with this constantly change), exercised more discipline, and am still practicing the things that make me me. I've got plans to include an aura of zhainess in my self-morphing process, and i'm looking back to see what needs change.
Socrates (in Plato's words) said that the unexamined life was not worth living. I think mine's just begun.
posted by Kinfoong at 4:11 PM
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